• Ashton Rail

Basil & Me

Updated: Mar 19

For those who follow me on Instagram, you most likely know that I got a cat.

But what you don't know is what I've learned from having Basil.

(And I'm about to tell you)

I got Basil after she was found on a road after being ran over (she wasn't hurt!). I had been in contact with Crystal Creek Rescue and told them I wanted a fluffy cat. They found her not long after.

(By the way, I HUGELY recommend Crystal Creek Rescue if you're wanting to adopt a cat. They are amazing.)

It had been about two years since I had a cat and all I wanted was a cat to give me comfort when I wasn't feeling the best. I kept thinking of my old cat and how he would somehow know when I wasn't feeling good and come comfort me. For as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of a fluffy white cat, fluffy gray cat, or a main coon.

When I first met Basil I noticed that she had some Main Coon qualities, which is why I chose her.

But after a few days of being home with her I had my doubts.

Here's what happened.

First off: she fell off the stairs and dropped about 9 feet. Yes, I did freak out and called the animal hospital (she's fine).

When I moved into my apartment with her she kept on peeing and pooping everywhere... ON NEW CARPET.

When I kept her in one room, she'd meow all night and end up without a voice. She wouldn't eat anything but wet food, attacked me to the point to where I have a few small scars, and tried to eat my hand at every chance. She kept me awake at night and attacked me when I tried to work. She kept on not gaining weight which led to me being overly stressed about her (turns out she was sick but she's fine now). I would cry to my mom saying that I wish she wasn't my cat. She wasn't what I wanted. She wasn't what I dreamed of. I wanted a plain grey or plain white fully cat. I wanted a cat that didn't cause me to loose hours of sleep and wake up bleeding from scratches. I wanted a unique cat. (If you know me at all then you know I like to be unique.. and discovering that there are hundreds of cats that look like Basil online was painful).

I seriously lamented over her not being what I had dreamed of for so long. Then I beat myself up for having those thoughts. All my friends kept on commenting on how cute she was and all I could think was "but there's nothing unique about her". I also beat myself up over being so emotional over a cat.

Here's why I tell you this... So I can tell you what I've learned.

I'm a dreamer. Always have been. It's painful. I hate it sometimes. I spend too many hours dreaming of certain things in my life (cat, future, dating, Europe). I dream so much that reality is usually disappointing. And when it comes to Basil, she is nothing like what I dreamed of. It reminded me of all the other dreams that didn't come true. And I could make a HUGE list of things that it reminded me of... of deaths in my family, of broken friendships, and ruined trips.

It reminded me of how much I still need to learn about myself. And learning can be painful.

I put too much emphasis on wanting to be unique. I know I don't have to always be unique. But it's still painful when I'm not. I am who I am and I don't need to prove that to others.

I realized that I have been so scared of my reality not living up to my dreams that I kinda haven't been open to dating. I've been too scared that what in a relationship won't happen... So, it's been easier to just not try. This mindset has soaked it's way into my mind for so long that it effects everything.

I love Basil. She has a few white marks that I keep finding that make her unique. She has a small face with round crazy eyes and a weirdly long tail. She attacks me every night around 3am and won't stop until I cover my arms with a blanket. She get feisty when she's hungry, and she's hungry ALL THE TIME. She is constantly hopping onto the kitchen counter and being run off it by me. She loves blueberries, tries to eat my plants, loves exploring my little deck outside, has claimed my desk as hers, sleeps on a pillow next to me, and watches tv with me. Last night I fell asleep with her head resting on mine.

Oh, and she's currently in time out (in her pet carrier) cause she literally bit a chunk of skin out of my leg.

I love her because I finally realized how messed up my thinking was. I love her because she taught me that reality can be better than my dreams. I love her because she taught me a huge lesson that I needed to learn before something else happened in my life.. like dating. I love her because she taught me just how scared I was to really love someone else, or something else like a cat.

I love her because she's mine.

(All the photos of Basil and me are taken by Hayley Mitchell! Also, so are most of all the pictures I use of me cause she's awesome)

Keep on scrolling to see some pics of just Basil and even some from when she was really little!

#2018 #personal

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